Archive for April, 2006

What next?

Saturday, April 8th, 2006

I must remark on the newest diet — at least that has come to my attention – from California. Clear your mind of any thoughts that are not organic. I mean thoughts of food, of course. Be prepared to make sure that the word organic is clearly marked upon the label of products you plan to eat, drink, or rub upon your body. Because the truth is, you will find it very difficult to tell the difference, except maybe in the marked price, between organically grown and chemically grown food.

Back to the diet. A very large requirement — almost overwhelming — of this diet is to drink ten, yes, that is, 10, eight ounce glasses of water. Every day, mind you, not any old time you thirst during the week. And drink not just any water, but spring water, bottled water, processed water. Do not drink from any tap no matter how much that water digs into your utility expenses. Now that is your decision and OK by me.

Drinking that amount of water every day will make you feel better, eat less and probably lose weight — which is the most compelling reward of any diet. Oh I almost forgot, that purified water must be enhanced by a spritz of lemon juice but only from organic lemons.

For many bucks – dollars, not male deer — up front, you may attend seminars to learn which foods to eat and when and how that will bring out the magic results. Seminars cleverly done might possibly addict you to continue supporting the sophisticated, intellectual practitioners at the most. At the least you will be compelled to share your success with family, co-workers, friends and, anyone else who will listen, of the wonders you experienced.

Now I ask you? Isn’t that precious?

Who’s the fool?

Friday, April 7th, 2006

There is a fun exercise USA citizens go through twice annually. It is called fool thy self. The wonderful title is “Daylight Savings Time.” But it involves a drastic change. The changing of the hands on your clocks (if you have any clocks that technology doesn’t change for you) is almost a life threatening experience — to listen to the doom sayers. Do you suppose your clocks care if you are getting up an hour earlier now that the days are getting longer?

Who is saving what daylight, I ask? What is it about us Americans that we have to fool ourselves? It is a practice suggested by Benjamin Franklin somewhere in the 1700s and went over real big with the factory owners — they had longer hours to exploit their workers. You wouldn’t know that most of the colonists at that time were farmers and the cows, pigs, and chickens woke when the sun came up anyway. In dead of winter cows were milked once before sunup and once after sundown. So much for daylight. Maybe that is why most folks didn’t rally against it. They didn’t have time to look at their clocks. They had chores. And most of us still do.

I think it would be easier all around, if on March 31, employers announced: “Be at work an hour earlier next Monday morning until I tell you different.”

I can’t change the world. Clocks are but a human invention anyway so make like a robot and set them according to Gorp. Businesses all around have schedules and if I want have fun and participate I best be on their time.