Gift Horse

Jun 6, 2009 by Naomi.

I picked up Jaynee, a fellow worker, and dropped her at the airport on my way to work. She is anything but a horse — shorter than me, she is dark, slender, and runs 5 miles before breakfast like an antelope. She asked for a ride for the usual reason of avoiding the cost of a taxi. I refused to take money. But she did offer me a gift. With that comes good news and bad news. The good news is that I was the recipient of the fresh greens from her refrigerator because they would deteriorate into uselessness before she returned.

The bad news is that the greens are collard greens. If you are unfamiliar with them I can say they have nice white stalks very much like celery or Swiss chard. The leaves are more leathery, like dark green cabbage, not nearly as tasty. I did not know this when I accepted the treasure. Well, as you know, I do not let things go to waste.

I cut an inch off the root end and pulled the stalks apart. I wondered in what muddy habitat the stuff had grown. Black dirt was in every crease. So the washing began. I’m sure it took more water to rinse dirt off the stalks than I saved by not flushing the toilet every time I tinkled.

Nevertheless, I stuck to my goal — making an edible salad. After adding my favorite thousand island dressing I thought to enhance the appearance by adding finely chopped carrots, green pepper, and catsup. Like the great actor turned president, I consider catsup a vegetable. The mixture became a sharp salad that puckers my mouth with each forkful. I indulge sparingly but I do eat it every day. With those sunkissed vegetables there must be vitamins with a celestrial aura.

I will certainly give Jaynee a ride whenever she needs it but will gracefully refuse remuneration of any kind.

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